Story Time

My version of these famous tales bring the point home, I hope.

The scorpion and the frog

There was a little frog sitting by the side of the river. He was getting ready for his swim across when he was approached by a scorpion.

Please carry me across on your back begged the scorpion. I need to get to the other side of this river and you know I cannot swim.

I cannot carry you on my back said the frog. I am afraid that you will sting me and I do not want to die.

I will not sting you said the scorpion. It would not make any sense to sting you. By hurting you I hurt myself please carry me across.

The frog sat thinking about this for a while and eventually said yes.

The scorpion climbed onto the frogs back and the frog began swimming across the river.

When the frog had reached the middle of the river the scorpion stung the frog.

Why have you stung me asked the frog?

In a moment I will not be able to swim and we will both drown. You promised me you would not sting me.

I know said the scorpion but I could not help it. I am a scorpion.

You cannot change an outcome if it is inevitable.

There are times in your relationship you will hear things you don't want to hear. 

Listen to your partner.  Most people will say exactly what is on their mind you just have to listen.

"I need time to think."

"I don't think this is going to work."

"I need a break."

"We need some time apart."

"I can't take this anymore."

"I can't be monogamous."

"I want you to leave."

"My family (job, career, friends, hobby etc. ) is more important to me than our relationship right now."

"I'm not ready to settle down,"

Insert your own line of those words you don't want to hear here, 

"________________________________________________"

If they are saying it they mean it.  Your goal should not be to change their mind, fix things, or wait until things get better.  These are clear statements with a singular meaning.  

Honor yourself and your partner by taking these words seriously and do what needs to be done no matter how difficult.

  

Self respect is your reward. 

 Although the initial task of letting your partner work out whatever it is that is distressing may seem disastrous, you may be surprised to find that what they needed to figure out and reassess has put them back on track where your relationship is concerned. 

 Not giving them the time however, will almost surely end with negative consequences for you both.