Who
are you really?
I
have separated people in to a type. These categories are meant for
you to identify who you are in your relationship and also to help you
identify who you are dating, breaking up with, or seeking. By
knowing the type of person you are or pointing out who you are
generally attracted to, you can pin point the
behavior
attached to the “type” and then we can research what it is that
your doing to sabotage your life as a couple.
The
key here is honesty. I firmly believe the statistics that say people
lie in one form or another several times a day. Never ever never lie
to yourself. It may make it easier to do this exercise if you look
at the categories while facing a mirror. Your facing yourself; now
tell the truth. It may be ugly it may be embarrassing but until your
honest with yourself you will never be in a functioning relationship.
The
categories are pretty specific and self explanatory.
Note:
If more than a few people have called you a stalker, even jokingly,
then you are probably a stalker.
A
true friend will point out your crazy and try to get you to talk
about it so admit it so we can move on.
1-
The Sucker – This person is nice, very nice; too nice. He/she goes
out of their way to pay for everything, say super supporting things,
care for the other person physically, mentally and financially. They
do it without requesting anything from the partner. They get no
praise or appreciation.
2
- “Special” - This guy/girl is awesome, great, fantastic. They
are doing so well they don't need anything or anyone including a
partner. They are royalty to themselves and expect to be treated
that way. Anything less and they can't believe the nerve. This
person creates and participates with 100% energy given to as much
drama as possible. They are better than anyone else and they don't
care who knows it.
3
– The cling on – This one breaths your oxygen. They cant live
without you and they want you to know it. They are not shy about
letting other people or animals know how much they need you. They
will show up at your job, at your parents house, at your night out
with friends. You may need a restraining order if you try to break
up with this one.
4
– Martyr – This person does it all. Anything and everything is
taken care of. He /she is tireless in their efforts to do any an all
tasks. The problem is they also complain regularly about doing it
“all.” They are also relentless in letting you and anyone with
ears know how much they do for you. This control freak dominates
with coordinating schedules and eliminating things from your life
“they” feel you don't need.
5
– The BFF – This is your best friend forever with forever being
the operative word here. This is the person who always seems to be
hanging around when you need something. To be fair he/she is there
when you need them in proper bff fashion. You can call on them
anytime for a flat tire or a broken heart. Now try to get into a
relationship with someone outside of the duo. This love triangle
will break you. Your best friend will do whatever It takes to point
out the less than perfect in your mate. They will show up on dates
accidentally and forget to tell you the message when your date calls.
This is a wedge that will kill desire. Your bff has a crush on you
and will never let anyone in.
6
– Savior – You can't help but bring home strays. Stray animals
or stray people. These boyfriends/girlfriends will date anyone that
needs a place to stay, some money, help of any kind. Why do you need
to date them? If you have the desire to help others do it, just
don't take them home.
7
– Invisible – The invisible man/woman simply exists. They don't
participate in the relationship at all. Either they don't know how
or simply don't care, the reason is not important. This non partner
feels that breathing is all that is necessary for you to continue to
see them. No effort whatsoever, and what is worse is they never
understand your frustration at the lack of input and energy it takes
to make another person feel important, loved and cared for.
8
– The Historian – This record keeper keeps track of everything
that has ever happened in your relationship. They have archives of
arguments, faults and negative situations at their disposal. They
unleash their arsenal whenever you disagree. They feel throwing the
past up in your face somehow makes the fight more meaningful. They
will also bring up your past relationships, what your parents and
friends said in the past and somehow insert all of that into whatever
is happening now.
9
- The Downer – The glass half empty fun killer. This partner will
find the ironic, sadistic, depressing, mean, angry or sad in every
situation. The happier the occasion the sadder it is according to
this joy breaker. It doesn't concern them how upsetting this is to
you because they have to let you know what is wrong. Misery loves
company so don't share your hopes, desire or ambition with this
partner without expecting the worse.
10
– Daddy's Little Girl/Momma's Boy – This has a “Psycho” ring
to it. The obsession that Norman Bates has with his mother is so
unhealthy that, to put it lightly, it hinders his ability to have a
meaningful relationship. You or your mate may not be a killer but
this does not make a good partner. The key to this identity is the
comparison to your parents. This person idolizes their parents so
much that he or she wants to date them. They constantly compare you
to their great mom or dad and become too disappointed if you don't
measure up. This person will also break up with you if mom or dad do
not approve of the relationship. They are still attached to the
umbilical cord.
11
– The Spy – This person puts James Bond to shame. They can hack
into your computer, break into your facebook page and decipher your
passwords. They secretly break into your phone read your texts and
“interview” your friends and family regularly to make sure you
remain under tight surveillance. They don't discuss any breach in
your security because they either feel they are saving you from
yourself or even though they are acting crazy they are sane enough to
know you would probably leave them and or change all of your
passwords. To say that trust is an issue would be an understatement.
12
– The Finger – This person gets through life with the absolute
certainty that everything is definitely without a doubt someone else
s fault. All blame for anything that goes wrong or is remotely
negative is assigned to someone else. They didn't do it, whatever it
is. They constantly want to know why does this always happen to
them. This is the person that not only throws the pity party but is
the guest of honor. “Why me?” is the question always.
13
– Are You My Mother? - This person does not want to be responsible
for him or herself. This person is looking for a mother or father
figure to guide them. They not only feel that they need someone to
tell them where to work, what to do, how to spend their money etc.
they like it. They seek out one who “will take care of
everything.” They don't know how much money is in the bank because
their surrogate parent holds the checkbook. This makes life easy for
them. They don't concern themselves with how much work this gives
you. They eventually revert back to infant giving up all
responsibility to their partner. This makes them irresponsible,
unpredictable and whether or not you wanted children you have one
now.
13b
– Mother and Father – This is the parent in this relationship.
This person looks for someone that they can rule. They don't want to
be with someone that can think for themselves it makes them feel
unwanted or not needed. They take charge and never give it back.
They control the money, time and dynamics of the relationship.
14
– Master Of The Universe – This person has multiple combo traits.
You know who you are. This is The Spy/ Historian, or The BFF/
Martyr. These combo's are not fine attributes by themselves and
together they are what make people say at the end of your
relationship “he or she was crazy!”
15
– The Chameleon – I am whoever you want me to be. This person
has low self esteem and has not found who they really are so they
conform. They are like molded clay. They will let their partner buy
their clothes, choose their hair style and pretty much make them a
life size doll. They can maintain this facade for quite awhile and
then they will eventually slowly revert to who they were before, when
you met them. They will begin to resent you for turning them into
your pet project and you will resent the change back. Its a disaster
for both of you.
16
– The Cheater – This person is trying to beat some secret
personal best. They want to have a sexual relationship with
everything that moves. Your sister, your best friend, your mother is
not safe from getting hit on by this record holder. They don't know
the meaning of monogamy and they don't care. They are charming and
charismatic and probably have a sexually transmitted disease. When
caught or confronted this person pleads the fifth and then texts his
“real” partner that he/she will be right over. They cant be
stopped with a 12 step or a lethal virus so don't catch whatever it
is.
17
– The Beast – This is the abuser. There are many ways to hurt
someone and this person wants to do it. They seek out their prey and
then ease their way into a trust that they violate regularly.
Whether you are being verbally, psychologically or physically abused
this is the taboo. Learn to protect yourself from these predators
and get out now.
ABUSE
HOTLINE
1-800-799-SAFE
(7233)
Help
is available to callers 24 hours a day 365 days a year.
This is part 1 of a 3 part series. Please give your comments and feedback is always welcome and encouraged. If your have your own personality type or character that you would like me to add please email me at thegoodenoughlover@gmail.com
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